DEADS

I chalk my hands, I stop talking

 I'm on deck, I see the lifter lift, but it doesn't register

 I care not his weight or name

 I'm on deck, I'm on deck

 

 I try to breath deep, but my breathing becomes shallow

 Time starts to warp, I see the lifter fail or succeed, it doesn't matter

 I don't care

 I'm on deck, I'm on deck

 

 I see the lifter walk off the platform, I care about nothing

 I'm blank, I'm mean

 My breathing is shallow....breath! BREATH!

 Stay clear from me!

 

 The weight is set, eyes are on me, so I walk on the platform

 Love doesn't matter, life doesn't matter, anger grows..breath!

 Will it beat me? Will I kill it?...Breath!

 

 Adrenaline rushes, anger reaches its peak

 Very angry at everyone...everything

 I grab the bar like a killer grabs his prey...I mean it

 Butt down, back straight, death grip

 Body like a coiled spring...tight...explosive

 

 Legs draw tension as though sucking electricity from the air

 No thoughts

 Bar breaks ground, still tight...nothing is tighter

 Feeling tension start moving up to lower back like a determined tank moving across the battle ground

 Would rather die than not lock out! Won't quit! Won't quit!

 

 Standing tall, feeling the weight pull at my fingers

 Skin feels like it's tearing

 Standing tall, crowd clapping, judge says "down"

 Anger releasing, coming back to reality

 Still tight, lower weight all the way to ground, release grip

 Stand tall again

 Anger gone, smiling, allowing stars to leave before starting to walk

 

 It's done